Out of the thousands of movies I have watched in my life time, no movie inspires me more than Mona Lisa Smile. It is a movie set in the northeastern part of the United States in the 1950’s at Wesley University. For those of you unfamiliar with this University or their heritage it is set in a very traditional time, where gender roles are very important. The women go to university to receive the best education, but are only dreaming of attaining their M.R.S. degree. If you have never seen this movie I HIGHLY recommend it.
If you had asked me in college my thoughts about gender roles, I probably would have told you that I did not care much. I rather enjoyed not having to mow the lawn or fix a car engine. I would not have considered myself a feminist and maybe not even have advocated for COMPLETE equal rights. (I mean who wants to be drafted?) My best friend in college, Valerie, I would say is a feminist in her own wonderful way. There was one afternoon when I was washing the dishes and she was hanging out watching a movie in the living room. I tried to unscrew a lid on a coffee mug, but it was twisted soooooooo tight, I could not get it off. I made a comment under my breath, ‘I need a man here!’. She was surprisingly upset by this comment I had made. Her parents had taught her all along that she didn’t need a man to do things for her, and she should learn to do everything on her own. Thusly she tried to do whatever task it was at hand, when I would make that comment…it was made on several occasions. (Killing bugs, unscrewing things, shoveling out my car…you get the idea.) She was the best ‘man’ I could have asked for, rather the best friend I could have asked for.
I grew up, for the majority of my life, with all men. So its not that I was not taught the same thing, the reality is with two brothers…I never had to mow a lawn or kill a spider. Not because I was unable, but merely because they were always around. Granted they never really vacuumed or did the laundry so it worked out. Our household was not dictated by gender roles, but merely by what we wanted to do for our chores. I still raked leaves and shoveled snow on occasion, and they did help with the dishes. I even had my younger brother watching Oprah with me; our house was rather liberal when it came to gender roles. Maybe that is the reason I never gave them much consideration.
Coming to Japan has opened my eyes to the gender stereotypes that are still ever so pervasive in societies these days. Japan is one among the long list of developed nations but yet ranks last in gender equality for developed nations. (Citation:http://www.weforum.org/issues/global-gender-gap ) This topic has been on the forefront of my mind since I began my missionary term here in 2009. When one thinks of a ‘missionary’s duties’ you think of feeding the hungry, clothing the naked and helping those who are less fortunate than yourself. This is what I originally had in mind when I decided to become a missionary, but like most things I plan in life, God laughed at me and said…not exactly Dana. Upon arrival to this technological, fashion-forward, materialistic mecca of the East, I often wondered what it is that I was actually called here to do. What is my calling and what career path is that leading me to follow.
With that in mind, one of the job placement sites I was assigned to is the Bunkyo-ku Katerina （文京区カテリーナ）dormitory, for high school and college females. After teaching here for almost two years, the opinions and frustrations that my girls have felt in this country astound me. I had one student who grew up in Nagoya, the home of Toyota, and then moved to America for 3 years for high school. Upon her return to Japan she immediately started taking English lessons from me in order to keep her English at a fluent level. The conversation drifted to living in America versus living in Japan, and she said something that I’ll never forget. She said she always thought she had a good life here in Japan, until she went to America and saw how much freedom she could have. She never questioned the gender role she was going to fulfill because all the women in her life had fulfilled the same one, it seemed normal to her. I asked her what her career ambitions were and she had told me that she had never given it much thought before, but now coming back from America she saw a whole plethora of possibilities she could have.
I was simply floored. I began to raise this discussion in my other lessons as well and was no less shocked by the answers I was given. My students were going to some of the best colleges, studying economics, international relations, pre-law but in the end all saw themselves married and with kids a few years out of college. The pressure Japanese culture forces on women to fulfill the stereotypical women roles absolutely shocked me. I began thinking that if Japan is this way, can you image what repressive countries cultures must be like? I never considered myself a feminist…until I came to Japan. I’m all for being taken care of and having a man be the head of the household….but if he can’t step to the plate…I can.
Young females need positive role models in their lives to tell them that they can do anything they want, that they don’t have to conform to a shadow behind their husband, merely propping him up. They too can be in power, empowered to do what they want with their lives and reach their goals beyond marriage. Mona Lisa Smile also has the same message that women don’t have to follow the tradition laid out before them from the generation above but they can forge their own path into uncharted territory.
My sorority’s mission statement is “To inspire the highest type of womanhood” and that is a mission I think is worth carrying out. To be strong independent women and showing others that they too have the same possibilities. The women I met in my sorority Gamma Phi Beta: Zeta Iota are some of the most amazingly strong women I know, and am proud to call them sisters.
I think that my calling might not be to stay and work in Japan forever, but I do think it has to do with gender roles and advocating for women in other countries where they might not have the power to do so themselves. To encourage parents to allow both their sons and daughters to attend school. To teach women how to start up their own businesses and show them how to earn their own income so that they do not have to rely on their husbands. Maybe this is what I was called to Japan to learn…
“Not all who wander are aimless, especially not those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond the image.” --Mona Lisa Smile
